`A dog?' said Joe. `A puppy? Come?'

`No, Joe, there was nothing at all of the kind.'

As I fixed my eyes hopelessly on Joe, Joe contemplated me in dismay. `Pip, old chap! This won't do, old fellow! I say! Where do you expect to go to?'

`It's terrible, Joe; an't it?'

`Terrible?' cried Joe. `Awful! What possessed you?'

`I don't know what possessed me, Joe,' I replied, letting his shirt sleeve go, and sitting down in the ashes at his feet, hanging my head; `but I wish you hadn't taught me to call Knaves at cards, Jacks; and I wish my boots weren't so thick not my hands so coarse.'

And then I told Joe that I felt very miserable, and that I hadn't been able to explain myself to Mrs Joe and Pumblechook who were so rude to me, and that there had been a beautiful young lady at Miss Havisham's who was dreadfully proud, and that she had said I was common, and that I knew I was common, and that I wished I was not common, and that the lies had come of it somehow, though I didn't know how.

This was a case of metaphysics, at least as difficult for Joe to deal with, as for me. But Joe took the case altogether out of the region of metaphysics, and by that means vanquished it.

`There's one thing you may be sure of, Pip,' said Joe, after some rumination, `namely, that lies is lies. Howsever they come, they didn't ought to come, and they come from the father of lies, and work round to the same. Don't you tell no more of 'em, Pip. That ain't the way to get out of being common, old chap. And as to being common, I don't make it out at all clear. You are oncommon in some things. You're oncommon small. Likewise you're a oncommon scholar.'

`No, I am ignorant and backward, Joe.'

`Why, see what a letter you wrote last night! Wrote in print even! I've seen letters - Ah! and from gentlefolks! - that I'll swear weren't wrote in print,' said Joe.

`I have learnt next to nothing, Joe. You think much of me. It's only that.'

`Well, Pip,' said Joe, `be it so or be it son't, you must be a common scholar afore you can be a oncommon one, I should hope!The king upon his throne, with his crown upon his 'ed, can't sit and write his acts of Parliament in print, without having begun, when he were a unpromoted Prince, with the alphabet - Ah!' added Joe, with a shake of the head that was full of meaning, `and begun at A too, and worked his way to Z. And I know what that is to do, though I can't say I've exactly done it.'

There was some hope in this piece of wisdom, and it rather encouraged me.

`Whether common ones as to callings and earnings,' pursued Joe, reflectively, `mightn't be the better of continuing for a keep company with common ones, instead of going out to play with oncommon ones - which reminds me to hope that there were a flag, perhaps?'

`No, Joe.'

`(I'm sorry there weren't a flag, Pip). Whether that might be, or mightn't be, is a thing as can't be looked into now, without putting your sister on the Rampage; and that's a thing not to be thought of, as being done intentional. Lookee here, Pip, at what is said to you by a true friend. Which this to you the true friend say. If you can't get to be oncommon through going straight, you'll never get to do it through going crooked. So don't tell no more on 'em, Pip, and live well and die happy.'