`You see,' said Mr. Toots, `what I wanted in a wife was--in short, was sense. Money, Feeder, I had. Sense I--I had not, particularly.'

Mr. Feeder murmured, `Oh, yes, you had, Toots!' But Mr. Toots said:

`No, Feeder, I had not. Why should I disguise it? I had not I knew that sense was There,' said Mr. Toots, stretching out his hand towards his wife, `in perfect heaps. I had no relation to object or be offended, on the score of station; for I had no relation. I have never had anybody belonging to me but my guardian, and him, Feeder, I have always considered as a Pirate and a Corsair. Therefore, you know it was not likely,' said Mr. Toots, `that I should take his opinion.'

`No,' said Mr. Feeder.

`Accordingly,' resumed Mr. Toots, `I acted on my own. Bright was the day on which I did so! Feeder! Nobody but myself can tell what the capacity of that woman's mind is. If ever the Rights of Women, and all that kind of thing, are properly attended to, it will be through her powerful intellect.--Susan, my dear!' said Mr. Toots, looking abruptly out of the window-curtains, `pray do not exert yourself!'

`My dear,' said Mrs. Toots, `I was only talking.'

`But, my love,' said Mr. Toots, `pray do not exert yourself. You really must be careful. Do not, my dear Susan, exert yourself. She's so easily excited,' said Mr. Toots, apart to Mrs. Blimber, `and then she forgets the medical man altogether.'

Mrs. Blimber was impressing on Mrs. Toots the necessity of caution, when Mr. Feeder, B.A., offered her his arm, and led her down to the carriages that were in waiting to go to church. Doctor Blimber escorted Mrs. Toots. Mr. Toots escorted the fair bride, around whose lambent spectacles two gauzy little bridesmaids fluttered like moths. Mr. Feeder's brother, Mr. Alfred Feeder, M.A., had already gone on, in advance, to assume his official functions.

The ceremony was performed in an admirable manner. Cornelia, with her crisp little curls, `went in,' as the Chicken might have said, with great composure; and Doctor Blimber gave her away, like a man who had quite made up his mind to it. The gauzy little bridesmaids appeared to suffer most. Mrs. Blimber was affected, but gently so; and told the Reverend Mr. Alfred Feeder, M.A., on the way home, that if she could only have seen Cicero in his retirement at Tusculum, she would not have had a wish, now, ungratified.

There was a breakfast afterwards, limited to the same small party; at which the spirits of Mr. Feeder, B.A., were tremendous, and so communicated themselves to Mrs. Toots that Mr. Toots was several times heard to observe, across the table, `My dear Susan, don't exert yourself!' The best of it was, that Mr. Toots felt it incumbent on him to make a speech; and in spite of a whole code of telegraphic dissuasions from Mrs. Toots, appeared on his legs for the first time in his life.

`I really,' said Mr. Toots, `in this house, where whatever was done to me in the way of--of any mental confusion sometimes--which is of no consequence and I impute to nobody--I was always treated like one of Doctor Blimber's family, and had a desk to myself for a considerable period--can--not--allow--my friend Feeder to be--'

Mrs. Toots suggested `married.'

`It may not be inappropriate to the occasion, or altogether uninteresting,' said Mr. Toots with a delighted face, `to observe that my wife is a most extraordinary woman, and would do this much better than myself-- allow my friend Feeder to be married--especially to--'

Mrs. Toots suggested `to Miss Blimber.'


  By PanEris using Melati.

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