but very charming, when the door opened, and the weak-eyed young man, in a loud voice, made the following proclamation:


Upon which there entered Mr. Toots, grown extremely stout, and on his arm a lady very handsomely and becomingly dressed, with very bright black eyes.

`Mrs. Blimber,' said Mr. Toots, `allow me to present my wife.'

Mrs. Blimber was delighted to receive her. Mrs. Blimber was a little condescending, but extremely kind.

`And as you've known me for a long time, you know,' said Mr. Toots, `let me assure you that she is one of the most remarkable women that ever lived.'

`My dear!' remonstrated Mrs. Toots.

`Upon my word and honour she is,' said Mr. Toots. `I--I assure you, Mrs. Blimber, she's a most extraordinary woman.'

Mrs. Toots laughed merrily, and Mrs. Blimber led her to Cornelia. Mr. Toots having paid his respects in that direction, and having saluted his old preceptor, who said, in allusion to his conjugal state, `Well, Toots, well, Toots! So you are one of us, are you, Toots?'--retired with Mr. Feeder, B.A., into a window.

Mr. Feeder, B.A., being in great spirits, made a spar at Mr. Toots, and tapped him skilfully with the back of his hand on the breast-bone.

`Well, old Buck!' said Mr. Feeder with a laugh. `Well!Here we are! Taken in and done for. Eh?'

`Feeder,' returned Mr. Toots. `I give you joy. If you're as--as--as perfectly blissful in a matrimonial life, as I am myself, you'll have nothing to desire.'

`I don't forget my old friends, you see,' said Mr. Feeder. `I ask 'em to my wedding, Toots.'

`Feeder,' replied Mr. Toots gravely, `the fact is, that there were several circumstances which prevented me from communicating with you until after my marriage had been solemnised. In the first place, I had made a perfect Brute of myself to you, on the subject of Miss Dombey; and I felt that if you were asked to any wedding of mine, you would naturally expect that it was with Miss Dombey, which involved explanations, that upon my word and honour, at that crisis, would have knocked me completely over. In the second place, our wedding was strictly private; there being nobody present but one friend of myself and Mrs. Toots's, who is a Captain in--I don't exactly know in what,' said Mr. Toots, `but it's of no consequence. I hope, Feeder, that in writing a statement of what had occurred before Mrs. Toots and myself went abroad upon our foreign tour, I fully discharged the offices of friendship.'

`Toots, my boy,' said Mr. Feeder, shaking his hands, `I was joking.'

`And now, Feeder,' said Mr. Toots, `I should be glad to know what you think of my union.'

`Capital!' returned Mr. Feeder.

`You think it's capital, do you, Feeder?' said Mr. Toots solemnly. `Then how capital must it be to Me! For you can never know what an extraordinary woman that is.'

Mr. Feeder was willing to take it for granted. But Mr. Toots shook his head, and wouldn't hear of that being possible.

  By PanEris using Melati.

Previous chapter/page Back Home Email this Search Discuss Bookmark Next chapter/page
Copyright: All texts on Bibliomania are © Bibliomania.com Ltd, and may not be reproduced in any form without our written permission. See our FAQ for more details.