“Indeed?” said he. “Then, Jobling, if you was the friend you represent yourself, I should think you might hand my mother out of the gangway, instead of allowing her to remain where she ain’t wanted.”

But Mrs Guppy positively refused to come out of the gangway. She wouldn’t hear of it. “Why, get along with you,” said she to my guardian, “what do you mean? Ain’t my son good enough for you? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Get out with you!”

“My good lady,” returned my guardian, “it is hardly reasonable to ask me to get out of my own room.”

“I don’t care for that,” said Mrs Guppy. “Get out with you. If we ain’t good enough for you, go and procure somebody that is good enough. Go along and find ’em.”

I was quite unprepared for the rapid manner in which Mrs Guppy’s power of jocularity merged into a power of taking the profoundest offence.

“Go along and find somebody that’s good enough for you,” repeated Mrs Guppy. “Get out!” Nothing seemed to astonish Mr Guppy’s mother so much, and to make her so very indignant, as our not getting out. “Why don’t you get out?” said Mrs Guppy. “What are you stopping here for?”

“Mother,” interposed her son, always getting before her, and pushing her back with one shoulder, as she sidled at my guardian, “will you hold your tongue?”

“No, William,” she returned, “I won’t! Not unless he gets out, I won’t!”

However, Mr Guppy and Mr Jobling together closed on Mr Guppy’s mother (who began to be quite abusive), and took her, very much against her will, down-stairs; her voice rising a stair higher every time her figure got a stair lower, and insisting that we should immediately go and find somebody who was good enough for us, and above all things that we should get out.


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