‘There are strings,’ said Mr Tappertit, flourishing his bread-and- cheese knife in the air, ‘in the human heart that had better not be wibrated. That’s what’s the matter.’

‘Oh, very well—if you’re in a huff,’ cried Miggs, turning away.

‘Huff or no huff,’ said Mr Tappertit, detaining her by the wrist. ’What do you mean, Jezebel? What were you going to say? Answer me!’

Notwithstanding this uncivil exhortation, Miggs gladly did as she was required; and told him how that their young mistress, being alone in the meadows after dark, had been attacked by three or four tall men, who would have certainly borne her away and perhaps murdered her, but for the timely arrival of Joseph Willet, who with his own single hand put them all to flight, and rescued her; to the lasting admiration of his fellow-creatures generally, and to the eternal love and gratitude of Dolly Varden.

‘Very good,’ said Mr Tappertit, fetching a long breath when the tale was told, and rubbing his hair up till it stood stiff and straight on end all over his head. ‘His days are numbered.’

‘Oh, Simmun!’

‘I tell you,’ said the ’prentice, ‘his days are numbered. Leave me. Get along with you.’

Miggs departed at his bidding, but less because of his bidding than because she desired to chuckle in secret. When she had given vent to her satisfaction, she returned to the parlour; where the locksmith, stimulated by quietness and Toby, had become talkative, and was disposed to take a cheerful review of the occurrences of the day. But Mrs Varden, whose practical religion (as is not uncommon) was usually of the retrospective order, cut him short by declaiming on the sinfulness of such junketings, and holding that it was high time to go to bed. To bed therefore she withdrew, with an aspect as grim and gloomy as that of the Maypole’s own state couch; and to bed the rest of the establishment soon afterwards repaired.