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Yes, I repeated. I thought you would have had something authentic to tell. The twitching of his lips before he spoke was curious. What if it is not worth telling? Not worthfrom what point of view? I dont understand. From every point of view. I spoke with some asperity. I should think that anything which could explain the circumstances of that midnight arrest. Reported by a journalist for the amusement of the civilized Europe, he broke in scornfully. Yes, reported. But arent they true? I cant make out your attitude in this? Either the man is a hero to you, or . . He approached his face with fiercely distended nostrils close to mine so suddenly that I had the greatest difficulty in not starting back. You ask me! I suppose it amuses you, all this. Look here! I am a worker. I studied. Yes, I studied very hard. There is intelligence here. (He tapped his forehead with his finger-tips.) Dont you think a Russian may have sane ambitions? YesI had even prospects. Certainly! I had. And now you see me here, abroad, everything gone, lost, sacrificed. You see me hereand you ask! You see me, dont you?sitting before you. He threw himself back violently. I kept outwardly calm. Yes, I see you here; and I assume you are here on account of the Haldin affair? His manner changed. You call it the Haldin affairdo you? he observed indifferently. I have no right to ask you anything, I said. I wouldnt presume. But in that case the mother and the sister of him who must be a hero in your eyes cannot be indifferent to you. The girl is a frank and generous creature, having the noblestwellillusions. You will tell her nothingor you will tell her everything. But speaking now of the object with which Ive approached you: first, we have to deal with the morbid state of the mother. Perhaps something could be invented under your authority as a cure for a distracted and suffering soul filled with maternal affection. His air of weary indifference was accentuated, I could not help thinking, wilfully. Oh yes. Something might, he mumbled carelessly. He put his hand over his mouth to conceal a yawn. When he uncovered his lips they were smiling faintly. Pardon me. This has been a long conversation, and I have not had much sleep the last two nights. This unexpected, somewhat insolent sort of apology had the merit of being perfectly true. He had had no nightly rest to speak of since that day when, in the grounds of the Château Borel, the sister of Victor Haldin had appeared before him. The perplexities and the complex terrorsI may sayof this sleeplessness are recorded in the document I was to see laterthe document which is the main source of this narrative. At the moment he looked to me convincingly tired, gone slack all over, like a man who has passed through some sort of crisis. |
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