These remarks were addressed to the “plenipotentiary” of an absent elector, a man whose countenance recalled that of a hare. He noisily repressed an inclination to laugh, and, in his fear of offending Hamyazoff or anyone else, he assumed the most serious possible mien. Then he passed a dirty silk handkerchief over his face and executed two or three dexterous skips, in order to reach a corner of the room. Here he made two or three pirouettes, still continuing to wipe his face; and, finally, he betook himself to a large table covered with a green cloth, bordered with gold fringe, from which he picked up the Regulations of the Elections, and began perusing them for the hundredth time, in a low voice, at the same time lending an ear to a noisy conversation which was going on in the next room. Podgruzdyoff now went out: he was going to the governor’s for a few minutes, and meanwhile a number of his guests remained, thinking it seemly to await his return. Hamyazoff accompanied Podgruzdyoff to the door of his carriage, and then returned to the drawing-room. At first he surveyed all the faces present, and whispered a few words in the ear of his neighbours, whereupon one of the electors said, “If Stepan Stepanovitch would only consent, we should be very glad to vote for him, so that he could remain in office.”

“Well, gentlemen, you are not hard to suit, if you can put up with such a marshal as he is!” exclaimed Hamyazoff.

“What do you mean by that? Podgruzdyoff is an active man: see how he performs his duties as guardian, see how he protects the orphan, how he defends the widow!”

“Eh! That’s his first duty; any one of us would do the same; but you pay no heed to another and equally important duty. What sort of a cook has he got? It’s shameful! He pretends that that kitchen-man of his served his apprenticeship at the English club at Moscow: I don’t believe a word of it, for my own part. He’s but a sorry cook. One eats and eats of his cooking, and is never satisfied: it only fatigues one’s jaws. You all know what to think of his stuffed dishes, which adhere to the teeth and the palate, they glue the coatings of my œsophagus together in a way which enforces silence upon me during the whole of the repast.”

“And, God be thanked! that suits your neighbours capitally,” said the little gentleman with the saffron complexion, raising a burst of laughter by this witticism.

“Jokes are somewhat misplaced to-day,” retorted Hamyazoff; “we have come here to elect our magistrates. Listen! I know that Melekitchentzoff, who has just returned from abroad, wants to be elected marshal, and he’s the very man whom we ought to elect; he has a cook, a genuine French artist, gentlemen. He will never regale you with any hotel-cookery. As far as the rest is concerned, why, I am ready to vote in favour of Podgruzdyoff, but on conditions that he changes his cook and engages a proper one.”

“Send away his cook, indeed, for the sake of being elected marshal! Come, now!”

“What? He won’t change his cook when the nobility desire it! If I were marshal, I would do everything in the world for the sake of pleasing the nobility. And stay! as a proof of my devotion, I declare to you that I will sacrifice my own cook to him, placing him at his disposal for the whole period of his office without payment. You will agree, I hope, that that is a real sacrifice. My cook is the soul of my house; and so as not to die of hunger, I shall have to desert wife, children, and home, to come to live with Podgruzdyoff. Never mind. I am prepared to do so, simply for the happiness of proving to all of you how devoted I am to the interests of the aristocracy.”

Having concluded this speech, Hamyazoff remained with arms outstretched, and his body bent forwards, awaiting a response, which did not come.

“We intend to ask Stepan Stepanovitch to remain with us for another three years,” at last said one of the gentlemen.

“Even without cook or kitchen?” asked the glutton.