have expended all the money they had brought with them on cards, drinks, feasts, and orgies, and then they will recollect that Zazhmurin has a pocket well padded with bills of credit.⁴ He will lend them money at six per cent. on good notes guaranteed by the most solvent among them; and, more than that, he will make the borrowers swear on their honour to vote for him. And yet, I ask you, how can a pig’s snout like that man aspire to be marshal of the nobility?”

“He impresses me as an honest man, and I don’t see why he should be driven to purchase votes,” remarked our hero.

“Well, pray do me the pleasure of dropping in a black ball for him, and in my opinion you ought to do the same for everyone except Melekitchentzoff. As for myself, the general desire has obliged me to come forward as a candidate for a judgeship; these are grave functions. It is a terrible thing to judge one’s fellow-men when one knows that at the last judgment one will have to render an account of one’s decisions, and yet I have made up my mind to it; and I shall be an exemplary magistrate, you may depend upon that.”

“It will be very meritorious on your part,” said our hero. “But what sort of a man is this Melekitchentzoff of yours?”

“A millionaire! That is the man who ought to be elected. That is the man who will make an accomplished marshal. Do you know, he has promised to give a great dinner, where he will regale everyone with Dutch milk? I am acquainted with Dutch cheese, and I am very fond of it. So, for that reason alone, I have decided to assist him in becoming marshal of the district. My wife is very fond of Dutch cheese, and my eldest daughter also; but milk, the real Dutch milk, that’s a thing that neither I nor my wife nor my children have ever tasted.

Well, Melekitchentzoff has brought some from the Low Countries —a hogshead, a large hogshead of it—and, just imagine it, he has brought it in his carriage!”

“It is of Viktor Apollonovitch that you are speaking, surely?” said a gentleman with a shrill voice, who had just halted behind Burdyakin.

“Yes, of Melekitchentzoff, certainly.”

“But what is this milk of which you were just speaking?”

“Milk, what? Why, milk, Dutch milk.”

“That isn’t milk at all; you have been misled. It isn’t milk, but whey; and not common Dutch whey, but what is called Amsterdam whey. I have tasted it.”

“Don’t believe him, Pavel Ivanovitch; he’s lying. Well, let us see if you have tasted it,” resumed the captain- ispravnik; “tell us what it tastes like, and what effect it has on the stomach.”

“That’s a fine question to ask! The whey which Viktor Apollonovitch has brought is acid and bitter, salt and sweetish, at one and the same time.”

“I suspected as much; ah, ah, ah! the jokers! they have made him swallow some sea-water. Water, water, I tell you; it was salt water—that’s what it was. I must tell you that Melekitchentzoff has brought with him from the west a number of men, birds, fish, and divers objects; among other things, he brought some very small shell-fish, which are called mussels, I believe, to treat the poor pupils at a school in which he takes an interest. Oh, what a fine thing it is to be rich! Well, in order to keep these shell-fish fresh, they had to be preserved in salt water; and it is probably that water, which the prince’s servants, at his request, made this gentleman drink. He has swallowed a jarful of salt water, spoonful by spoonful. That’s what he knows about Dutch milk. Come, now, my dear fellow.”