“Where shall you live in future?” Platonoff now inquired of Khlobuyoff. “Have you any other village?”

“None at all; I shall go to town. I have a little house there. It makes no difference. It would have been necessary to do so in any case, for the sake of the children. They must have masters in the law of God, in music and dancing. It is impossible to procure them in the village, of course.”

“Not a morsel of bread, and yet his children must learn to dance!” thought Tchitchikoff.

“This is queer,” thought Platonoff.

“But we must wet down the contract in some way,” said Khlobuyoff. “Hey, there, Kiriushka! fetch a bottle of champagne, my good fellow.”

“There’s not a bit of bread, but there is champagne,” thought Tchitchikoff.

Platonoff did not know what to think.

Khlobuyoff had provided himself with champagne, in case of an emergency. He had sent to town—what was to be done? Kvas is not sold in the shops on credit, and yet a man must drink. However, a Frenchman who had recently come from St. Petersburg with some wines allowed everyone to take them on credit. There was nothing else for Khlobuyoff to do but to buy some champagne from him without paying for it.

This champagne was now brought. They drank three glasses of it, and grew merry. Khlobuyoff unbent; he became charming and sociable, and overflowed with anecdotes and wit. He displayed in his conversation so much knowledge of men and the world, he had observed many things so well and faithfully, he depicted his fellow-landowners so aptly and skilfully in a few words, he so clearly perceived the errors and failings of them all, he knew so thoroughly the history of the ruined ones—the why and the how of their decay—he knew how to describe their habits with so much originality and ability, that both of his hearers were enchanted with his discourse, and felt inclined to pronounce him an extremely clever man.

“I am astonished,” said Tchitchikoff, “that you, with such ability, can hit upon no plans or resources.”

“I have some plans,” replied Khlobuyoff, and immediately he overwhelmed them with a whole mountain of projects. Everyone of these was so senseless, so extraordinary, so little derived from any acquaintance with men and with the world, that all his hearers could do was to shrug their shoulders and say, “Good heavens! what an immeasurable gulf exists between the knowledge of men and the world and the art of making use of that knowledge!” Everything was founded on the immediate procuring from some quarter or another of a sum of one or two hundred thousand roubles. Then, it seemed to Khlobuyoff, everything would come right, and his estate would be managed as it should be; his income might be quadrupled, all damage might be repaired, and he would be placed in a position to pay his debts; and he concluded his speech thus: “But what do you advise me to do? There is not, no, there is not in existence, a philanthropist who could make up his mind to advance me two hundred, or even one hundred, thousand roubles as a loan. Plainly, God wills it not.”

“The idea,” thought Tchitchikoff, “that God should send that fool two hundred thousand roubles!”

“I have an aunt, though, who is worth three millions,” pursued Khlobuyoff. “She is a pious old woman, and gives money to churches and monasteries; but she is slow in assisting her nearest relatives. She’s an aunt of the ancient pattern, well worth inspection. She has four hundred canaries, and her poodle- dogs, parasites, and servants are such as are not to be seen elsewhere nowadays. The youngest of her servants must be sixty years old, though she always addresses him as ‘Hey, there, boy!’ If a guest does not behave to suit her, she orders the viands to be carried past him at dinner. And it is done: that’s what she is like!”