Here Tchitchikoff thought it incumbent on him to interpose a word. “Everyone asks for love, sudaruinya,² said Tchitchikoff. “What is to be done? Even animals like to be stroked. Bears will thrust their muzzles through the bars of their cages, as much as to say, ‘Come, pat me!’ ”

The general broke into a laugh. “They really do thrust their muzzles through: ‘Come, pat me!’ Ha, ha, ha! And there are some who are not content with all that, but want you to come into their dens, and demand encouragement, as it were. Ha, ha, ha!” and the general’s sides began to quiver with laughter. His shoulders, which had formerly supported his heavy epaulets, shook too, exactly as though they still upheld those ornamental appendages.

Tchitchikoff also gave a laugh, but out of respect for the general, he emitted it in the letter e—“He, he! he, he, he!” And his body also began to quiver with laughter, but his shoulders did not shake, because they had never worn heavy epaulets.

“A man will steal, he will rob the treasury, and yet demand a reward for it, the beast! ‘It’s impossible,’ says he, ‘to labour without encouragement.’ Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

“Has your excellency ever heard that story, ‘Love us while we are dirty, everyone will love us when we’re clean,’ ” said Tchitchikoff, turning to the general with rather a roguish smile.

“No, I have never heard it.”

“It is a most curious anecdote, your excellency. On the estate of Prince Gukzovsky, whom your excellency probably knows——”

“No, I do not know him.”

“Well, there was a German overseer there, your excellency,—a young man. He had occasion to go to the city in connection with recruiting and other matters, and had some dealings with the judicial authorities; now do you know, he greased their hands.” (Tchitchikoff here screwed up one eye, and indicated by his countenance how one “greases” the hands of public officials.) “Well, they entertained him on one occasion, and while he was dining with them, he says, ‘Gentlemen, you must come and visit me one of these days on the prince’s estate.’ They reply, ‘We will.’ It chanced, your excellency, that a short time afterwards the judges had to make some investigatious concerning an affair which had occurred on the estate of Count Trekhmetieff, whom your excellency is no doubt pleased to——”

“No, I do not know him.”

“Well, the did not make the investigations, but they turned their telyéga into the farm-yard, went to the house-steward’s apartments, and played cards for three days and nights without stopping to draw breath. The samover and the punch, your excellency, never left the table. They fairly stuck in the throat of the count’s steward, so to speak.” (Here Tchitchikoff pointed at his own throat.) “In order to get rid of them, he says, ‘You should go to see the prince’s overseer, gentlemen, the German; he is not far off, and he is expecting you.’—‘Ah, surely!’ say they, ‘he invited us.’ So all of them, all sleepy and unshaven as they were, with dirty hands and faces, got into their telyéga, and drove off to the German’s. But the German, your excellency, had just been married. He had married a schoolgirl, a pretty and subtle young woman.” (Tchitchikoff here expressed her subtlety in his countenance.) “Being so to speak, in the midst of their honeymoon, they were sitting over their tea like two dear little angels, when all of a sudden the door opened, and the assemblage burst in upon them.”

“I can imagine it; very good,” said the general, laughing.

“This so surprised the German, your excellency, that he quite lost his head. He steps up to the officials, and says, ‘What do you want, you dirty louts?’—‘Well, you’re a pretty fellow!’ they reply: ‘a different turn of matters demands a different turn of speech. We’ve come on business,’ they add. ‘How much brandy